It could’ve been me

The news of Caroline Flack has really hit home for a lot of us. We question what would have led her to this? We ask, why? Some of us would blame the media, some of us would say she is selfish but the truth is none of us truly knew what she was going through.

I did not know her personally but I sincerely pray that her family will find peace and know that they are thought of and prayed for. No one deserves to lose a loved one like this.

But if I am honest, I too have had suicidal thoughts. Why, you may ask? You appear to have it ‘all together’. I’ve been through some low places and I am sure a lot can relate.

I have felt like there was no way out, I have questioned ‘what is the point?’ and asked if I should go on.

Life has a way of clouding the path before us and letting us only consider the very thing we are going through and ignoring all other factors such as family, loved one, friends and acquaintances.

When I look back I can only say that it was the love of my family who did not know what I was thinking but they were always praying for me and even when I cried and was low they were always showering me in love. But one would say I was fortunate. Some are not privileged to come from a praying family.

I want to reassure you that even if you do not have praying parents, God is always there. He sticks closer than a brother and truly loves you like no other.

When I was going through my dark place only God knew how I felt and only he knew why. The more I talk with people the more I understand that the pressures of life can really get to us. Some may have personal problems which may include a relationship, health, financial or work. But none of those problems are worth your life.

There is always someone you can talk to. If you do not believe in Jesus be assured that He still loves, you. He made you and knows the things you go through; He knows your struggles and knows your pain. He sees you when you sleep, He sees when you are awake. He knows the family you have including those broken relationships. But guess what He still loves you.

The bible says that we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139:14). That means that we were not just ‘thrown’ together. He purposed that we should be here and when He made us, He made no mistake.

I encourage you as I encourage myself. The bible reminds us that ‘there is nothing too hard for God’ (Jeremiah 32:17). What does this mean? It means that no matter what situation we find ourselves in, God can deliver us. It means that even at our darkest place, God can make a way out. I want to let you know that we do not keep ourselves it is God who is keeping us.

Yes, we are human, yes, we hurt, and we cry. We feel pain and disappointment, but God sees all things. If he takes you to it, He will take you through it.

And lastly, I just want to let you know that ‘God loves you’. Above your family and friends, God loves you, your faults and all. We have all made mistakes, we have all done things we shouldn’t have but God still loves us. Never feel that you are unloved because above all, He loves YOU. You are worth it, and your life is worth living. You were not a mistake or an accident. You were destined to be here. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise including your mind.

Be encouraged.

Practical help can be seen below should you wish to reach out to charities that can help you.

Mind for Better Mental Health
YoungMinds – Fighting for young people’s mental health
SANE – Meeting the challenge of mental illness

And if you are in the Wolverhampton area, Zion City Tabernacle Church (126 Compton Road, Wolverhampton WV3 9QB) have a Mental Health drop in session every Wednesday 6pm – 7.30pm. If you feel you need someone to talk to, an ear to listen to come down. Someone will listen to you, no judgement and provide support as needed.

Reach out – we all need each other. Don’t suffer in silence, don’t suffer alone and do not feel there is no way out. You are important and your life IS worth living.

God bless you

Sophia Romans (Wolverhampton, UK) 

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