I love socialising and being with my friends. I had a wide social network and well esteemed highly within it. The party, the club, the dance is where I loved to be. It’s where I could let my hair down amongst people like me, who just wanted to have a good time.
Amongst my friendship group we had an unwritten code of conduct which included being straight and honest with each other, looking out for each other and covering each other’s backs. There was always someone to turn to. It was perfectly acceptable to be pulled up within the group for any behaviour the group didn’t see as acceptable.
We all believed in God but none of us were prepared to give our life to Him.
We were enjoying life and we didn’t want that to change. Also being a Christian was a big thing to us and not something that should be taken lightly. There was a girl that would sometimes come out with us on a Saturday night and on Sunday morning would go to church. I couldn’t+ get my head around how she could do both.
I had everything I wanted in life, or so I thought. Several challenges came into my life which made me think if I could go back to church things would change, but there always seemed to be a barrier or reason I couldn’t go to church. Then I started to visit different churches, but none seemed right for me. One church was pleasant but boring, another church believed women should stay silent in church, another was lively but some people ministering in the church were on the club scene with me.
It wasn’t until after my son was born that I was directed to a church which was right for me.
This church looked different to the world and felt different to the others.
I visited and observed the church for several years. It was evident that the pastor meant God. His worship was unadulterated, and it drew me in.
I started going to church more and seeing my friends less. One New Year’s Eve my friends asked me to go out with them. I told them I didn’t want to, but they didn’t understand. One friend said to me “just because you go to church doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself”. If I’m honest I missed being with them and they missed having me get the party moving. I wanted to go with them but at the same time didn’t know what to do.
That evening I pulled out two dresses from my wardrobe; my red halter neck party dress and my church dress which I placed on my bed. I prayed and got up from the bed and got ready to go to church.
When church finished, I went home, took my church dress off, put my party dress on and I went to meet my friends at the club.
When I arrived, they were in our usual place on the dance floor. I went straight to them and tried to dance but I couldn’t. Tears started rolling down my face and I couldn’t get the tears to stop. My friends wanted to know what happened, who had upset me, but I couldn’t explain to them what was going on. I decided to leave the club and only when I got outside did the tears stop.
Not long after I dedicated my life to Christ, was I baptised. Bit by bit through the anointing things changed. My desires faded; I had so many piercings and loved jewellery so much even my nails were pierced and decorated with dangling jewellery, but this apparel changed. I previously felt that women wearing hats was a symbol of oppression and this changed too.
When I look over what God has done in my life, I thank Him for saving my soul. He has directed my path in many ways that I could not have conceived before. I thank Him for seeing my heart and not forgetting me.
A Laird (UK)